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for the compulsive notebook-buyer
20th-Feb-2006 08:48 pm
pandora's box
Hey, it's a little late, but here's what I thought of when I was told the word "breathe". Yes, I'm a smoker. At the time, I was having a bad day, and it was way too damn cold to go outside and have one, so yeah. Tell me what you think.

In & Out
Over and over again
Will it never end?
Ever present pain

Smell the sulfur of the match
Hear the crackle as you touch the flame to the one thing that helps
Long, thin, white; perfect.
Deadly, yet, so calming.
Inhale the smoke.
Exhale the tension; pain.
For the moment, nothing can touch you
You're free.
Inhale the soothing vapors
Exhale your worries; problems

The ashes fall, and with that comes a sense of dread.
Welcome back.
In & Out.
You can never escape.
24th-Feb-2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
I like the way that "breathe" has been taken in a smoking context, by the way. Someone else did that too and I liked that - I was expecting something lame like death (not that death is lame, it's just that it seems like the easy way to make something "sad") But I like this angle - much more poetic some how.

And I loved in particular your description of striking the match - that was very vivid for me. And like the "Welcome back" line, too. I heard that in so many different ways when I read it that it added a lot to the piece in just two words.

Nice work, and thanks for breaking the non-writing spell there!
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